Andy H, Made-up Newscorp, Washington DC:
In a short unannounced press conference Wednesday morning with the White House press pool, President Obama gave a statement on the alleged violence that occurred outside the right-wing controlled state house in Lansing Michigan on Tuesday.
“Intelligence officials working with DHS and the Lansing Michigan police department have confirmed that the violent acts that occurred were due to a disgusting right-wing video posted on YouTube. I strongly condemn the hateful message in the video and we are looking into who may be responsible. We have some early reports that the video was posted by someone connected to the Koch brothers, but as of now we are not sure if they are directly involved.” the President said.
The President did not take questions.
UPDATE
In the hall outside the press pool office a young female reporter asked followup questions regarding the alleged violence in Lansing Michigan on Tuesday. After telling the President how much she loved him and having him sign her blouse, she asked President Obama what he thought about the reports that Lansing police had used pepper spray on some of the peaceful protesters. The President was overheard to say that he was “concerned” about it and that “the police were acting stupidly.”
UPDATE 2:
Made-up Newscorp has learned from sources on the ground in Lansing that a right-wing video was not to blame for the violence. A post was made Tuesday night on the Facebook page of a terrorist sect called the IBEW Michigan that took responsibility for the attack. IBEW cells are known to be active in many parts of the United States.
A spokesperson at the White House was asked why the President initially blamed a video and said that the talking points were given to the President by the “intelligence community” and that “an investigation was underway” to determine what exactly happened.
Further updates when available.
I was wondering how low this disgrace of a president would go.
This is most likely not the bottom.
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Just so I’m sure you know, this is a parody news release –
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Just so you know, it took me about two minutes to climb down from the ceiling before realizing that.
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HA!HA!HA! That’s good !
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HAHAHA!
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hahahahaaaaaaaaa! I especially like “IBEW cells are known to be active in many parts of the United States”…
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I loved it, Andy! Very creative! Oh, just an obscure, under reported story that might dovetail with yours :
Long time Democrat supporter and Michigan resident, Michael Moore seen close to the protests circling in his black SUV was pulled over by MSP for turning the wrong way down a one way street. Troopers found cause and officials deployed highly trained “detection dogs”. They quickly discovered a horde of smuggled, endangered baked goods labeled as “Twinkies” throughout the entire vehicle. Off the record, an administration source confirmed the warrantless search was conducted in accordance with The Pastries Act. Mr. Moore was briefly taken into custody without incident, processed and released to the recognizances of the local White Castle. The charges have been referred to The Department of Just-Ice and Calorie Czar, Moochelle Obama for review. Mr. Moore or his spokeschef were unavailable for condiment.
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